Category Archives: Magic of Making Up

Why Apologizing is the Wrong Answer if You Really Want to Get Her Back

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Most guys think the perfect answer, after a breakup, is to apologize to the girl who got away. Some men have a hard time understanding why apologizing doesn’t work. Or in some cases makes her even angrier than she was initially. Apologizing is the wrong answer most of the time. Here are just a few of the reasons why.

Apologizing is the Wrong Answer Because it is a Sign of Weakness

apologies2Fans of the hit television show NCIS on CBS have heard that aplologizing is a sign of weakness. It has been said a time or two throughout its many seasons on the air.

It’s one of Gibbs’ favorite sayings. But, it is a sign of being on the weak end of the argument.

You never want to broach an argument from a weaker position.

Apologies Come Across as Insincere

Chances are good that you’ve apologized in the past. Perhaps, you’ve even apologized for the very things she says are the problems in your relationship. Apologies, without action, do not bring about a sufficient result to make her happy. While you don’t have to change everything about who you are, sometimes, you’re going to have to make some adjustments to your nature in order to keep her happy and make her FEEL loved by you.

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Apologies aren’t Specific Enough

Apologizing for “whatever you did to make her leave” isn’t going to cut it. She needs to hear the specific reason why you’re apologizing. As well she wants you to acknowledge that you’ve hurt, neglected, ignored, cheated, or whatever it is that you’ve done.

Most importanly she wants to know that you understand it’s wrong. Problem is, she doesn’t always tell you what you did. Which leads to the next reason it’s a bad idea to apologize when your girlfriend leaves.

It’s Too Easy to Apologize for the Wrong Thing

The last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire by apologizing for something you think she found out about, while failing to apologize to the thing that’s really set her off. Talk about digging in deeper!

The bottom line, when it comes to apologies, is that there are many more ways to get it wrong than there are to get it right. If you feel you must apologize, it’s best to do it in writing and follow these simple rules.

1) Be specific.
2) Make your apology brief.
3) Keep it simple.

Apologizing is the Wrong Answer Unless You Do It Right

Apologizing is the wrong answerPutting it in writing prevents a fight, gives her time to think it over, and provides a neutral setting where she can process the apology and what it may mean for your collective futures.

Apologies, for the most part, have a negative impact on the future of the relationship. Instead of a apologizing, look for positive aspects of the relationship and attempt to capitalize on how good you were together rather than revisiting mistakes that were made along the way.

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How Do I Know He Loves Me

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From childhood games with folded paper fortune tellers to Whitney Houston blaring from your ear buds, girls have been asking the same question for eons. As long as love has been a concept in the hearts and minds of humanity, this question has been asked by women.

folded-paper-fortune-tellersMen aren’t known for being open about their feelings.

Some men are more open than others and sometimes it feels like he’s telling you what he thinks you want to hear rather than how he really feels.

Watch a man’s actions. They will tell you if he loves you or not. If his words don’t match his actions, believe his actions!

So, how can you really know if he loves you? There are a few hard to mistake signs and we have listed them below.

He Reaches Out to You

We live in a day and age where communication is nearly constant. And, yet, for many women it seems like you are always the one reaching out. If he is the first one to:

• Call you
• Send a text message
• Instant message
• Use Instagram
• Send you messages on Facebook
• Email you often

The odds are great that he really has feelings for you he wants to explore. Men who are ambivalent rarely make the first move. They certainly don’t go out of their way to send you messages in the morning or call you up out of the blue just to see how your day is going.

He Tells You He Loves You

texting-loveThe “L” word is difficult for many men to utter. Just trying to say it, for some men, makes them feel like their tongues have suddenly become glued to the tops of their mouths.

You know, the peanut butter dry mouth syndrome. Even when they feel genuine love for you, it’s nearly impossible for men to be the first to make that declaration. If he says he loves you, chances are, he really does.

Don’t expect him to make Herculean efforts, in your eyes, to prove it. From his perspective, just saying it was Herculean enough.

He Deals with Your Friends and Family

Men don’t often tolerate uncomfortable scrutiny. The fact that he’s willing to be put on the chopping block of public opinion with your friends and family says a lot about where his heart is. If he keeps going back for more punishment, you’ve got a real keeper on your hands.

At the end of the day, though, it doesn’t matter how often he tells you, what he puts up with to show you, or whether or not he makes the first move. What matters most is whether or not he makes you feel loved BY HIM.

No amount of sweet talk or sincere gestures on his part are going to convince you if you don’t feel the love he professes.

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What a Woman Wants and How to Give it to Her

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Relationships with women can be a bit of a mystery to most men. It seems that girls today say one thing and want something else. In some ways that’s true. Women are constantly at war with a long history of genetic encoding where relationships are concerned and thoroughly modern ideas of what relationships should be. Somewhere in the mix, is a very mixed up girl. However, there are a few things that are almost universal about what a woman wants in relationship today. Do these things and she’s sure to be putty in your hands.

What a Woman Wants is to be Treaten Like a Lady

What a Woman WantsThis is one thing that needs to be done in both word and deed. Talk to her and in her presence in a manner that is befitting a lady. It might receive a few raised eyebrows at first, because it is a novel approach.

After a while, however, it will really begin to shape your entire relationship, especially when you follow up with treating her like a lady. There’s nothing wrong with opening doors, leading on the dance floors, and even small acts of chivalry.

It is a lost art that many women truly lament. More importantly, most women want to be treated that way, they are just afraid to speak up and ask for it.

What a Woman Wants is for you to Give Her Room to Grow

Just as men don’t appreciate being smothered in constant togetherness; women need a little time to pursue interests of their own. Whether it is educational, spiritual, or simply time to go out and connect with the girls. Your lady needs to enjoy some space from the relationship so that she can feed the person she is as well as the partner she needs to be for you.

At the same time, it is healthy for you to pursue outside interests such as hobbies, weekly poker night, or even joining a bowling league if that is your thing. You will grow much better together if you are also both growing as individuals in the process.

What a Woman Wants is a Partner to Share it All

What a Woman WantsRelationships are partnerships whether you are entering your first year together or your fiftieth. She needs to know that you are her partner in every aspect of the relationship.

She doesn’t want to feel as though you are going to run out on her when the real work gets started. Dishes need to be washed, or lawns require mowing. Even if you agree on how to split the responsibilities it is important to make those decisions together, as equals.

Relationships today are much simpler than many people try to make them out. Women are complex creatures to the average man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to say it. Give her what she wants first.  This way she never needs to ask for it. She will have a hard time even thinking about looking elsewhere for love.

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How to Get My Girlfriend Back – It Only Takes One Trick to Win Her Back

Getting your girlfriend back may seem like the most difficult task on the planet. It doesn’t have to be though. Many guys make it much more difficult than is necessary. You see, you’ve been led to believe, mostly in Hollywood movies and by the makers of fine jewelry, chocolate, and greeting cards, that this is the way it’s supposed to be. The question you need to ask is how to get my girlfriend back when all seems lost?

In fact, once the girl leaves, the average relationship may seem irrevocably broken, but there are still easy tips you can follow that really will help you get her back. Here are a few things you should remember if you really want to win her back.

How to Get My Girlfriend Back by Not Living in the Past

How to Get My Girlfriend BackTurn of the century American Author, Alice Morse Earle, once wrote: “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.”

Living in relationship past robs you both of all the joy of each day together when you’re in the relationship.

Now that she has left, however, it can rob you of a clear perspective on what needs to be done now in order to save the relationship and make it work this time around.

Become the Man You Want to Be

This is hard for many men. It’s something you may not have given a lot of thought to. Bruce Willis starred in a great movie called “The Kid”, where the grown up man is confronted by his eight year old self. The eight year old was horrified at the man he had become saying, “So, I’m forty, I’m not married, I don’t fly jets, and I don’t have a dog? I grow up to be a loser.”

Sometimes there is wisdom in those childhood echoes. You may have given up on the idea of flying jets (who really ever gives that one up though?), but that doesn’t mean you can’t take steps to be the man you want to be. Even if that does involve learning to fly a jet. The first step is deciding who you want to be. Then you must tackle the process of becoming that man.

How does that Help You Get the Girl?

Magic of Making UpLife doesn’t always follow a movie script. You might have to wait a little while to really get her attention. But, once you start making real, notable changes in the man you are and stop trying to recapture a past that wasn’t as picture perfect as you remember, you’ll be able to gain a new outlook on the future.

One thing is certain. Once you become the man you want to be, the here and now, the present, is something she’ll want to be part of. That is how you answer the question: how to get my girlfriend back!

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Getting Your Girlfriend Back – The Lazy Man’s Guide

Breaking up is especially difficult when it wasn’t your plan. Men often handle unexpected breakups in different ways. And getting your girlfriend back may be a bit of a challenge. Some men go all in, in an effort to getting their girlfriend back. They jump through crazy hoops, make deals, bargain, beg, and come close to stalking in an effort to get her back.

Getting Your Girlfriend BackOther men decide that maybe this is just how things were meant to be and seek greener pastures elsewhere. At least, that’s what they do in time. It often takes at least a little while to mend their broken hearts and feel willing to put themsleves back on the market again.

But there are still others who want to ride off into the sunset with the girl that got away, but have no idea how to make that happen. More importantly, they want to get her back but they don’t want to have to jump through hoops to do it.

Fortunately, hoop jumping really isn’t necessary to get her back. You don’t even have to do the chasing. You’ll probably be surprised to learn just how easy it can be to get her to come back to you.

Steps in Getting Your Girlfriend Back – Don’t Call Her

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? After all, it requires no action on your part. What it does require, though, is dedicated inaction. That’s not so simple when every instinct you have is telling you to go after her.

It’s the primal male drive to conquer all threats to life, limb, and overall happiness. You want to make her see the light. You want to show her how good it really is between you. You want things to be the way they were.

Chasing the girl down might make her swoon in the movies. In real life it nets you a restraining order. Give her a little time to work through her own emotions and take a little time to really think about whether things really were all that good (for both of you) the way they were.

In the Meantime Make Small Changes at Home

You don’t have to become a completely new man. That’s way too much work. But you might make a few small changes in appearance. Yes girls really do notice these things. Consider something simple to start with like teeth whitening to brighten your smile.

While you might not be interested in a full blown gym membership, you might want to consider lifting weights at home (within reason) or playing racquetball or even pickup basketball games for a little firming and toning. Maybe even skip that second beer at night or cut back from the pizza. Small changes don’t require a lot of effort and can deliver really big results.

Getting Your Girlfriend Back – Wait for Her to Come to You

Believe it or not, the world is small. Once people start noticing the little changes you’re making, and believe me they will, word will get back to her. Women are curious creatures. Not only in the sense that men have a hard time understanding them, but because they like to know what’s going on.

It will drive her insane with curiosity that you’re doing so well without her. She’ll want to know why you’re looking better, getting together with other people, and making changes for the better in your life. Even little changes get big attention in today’s world.

She will call or “bump” into you just to see what’s different. She’ll be desperate to know what’s going on. That’s when it’s really time to work your magic. Now there is a potential for getting your girlfriend back. All you need now is the right thing to say to convince her she was wrong to walk away.

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How to Get Him Back – How to Make Up

Many women want to know how to get him back. How do they make up with a boyfriend or even a husband? They struggle with the idea that he left them for another woman. They wonder what they did to deserve the break up. Well, I’m here to answer the question of how to get him back.

One of the things you may have done is agreed when he said that the two of you could use some “space.” Or perhaps he said that you should see other people. If you didn’t fight for the relationship then, he may be surprised when you fight for it after the fact.

Still, he may be having second thoughts now. This gives you a chance to answer the question of how do to get him back.

If you want to learn how to get him back, check out my review of the Magic of Making Up here. I has helped a lot of women learn how to communicate with their ex.

Tips on How to Get Him Back

Making upFirst of all, you should not pester him with endless calls and texts. Instead, suggest meeting for coffee.

You can shoot the breeze for an hour or so over double lattes. This is non-threatening.

When you go to the coffee shop, make sure you look your best. If necessary, get a new hair cut or a manicure. Wear the outfit that he liked you best in or something he bought you.

You should be prepared to talk about the good times you had together. Don’t be too obvious about it, but you can remind him that there were good parts of the relationship.

Ask him about how he is doing. Let him talk about how much he misses things about you. Gently pry when he talks about how life has changed for the worse since you left his life.

Make Good Conversation

But don’t be obvious about it. Remember to keep this encounter casual. How you get your ex back depends on you being cool here.

If things go well, invite him to a group outing where everyone else is paired up. This can be a dinner at your house or a trip to the water park. Keep it fun. When you do this, he might start to see the potential in being a couple again.

Whatever you do, do not spiral into a depression after he breaks things off with you. That is because men like happy women. If you are going to get your man back, you need to be confident.

How you get him back starts when you show him that you are not afraid to be alone. Don’t pine for him endlessly. Never put your own life on hold. Get out there and have fun. If your ex feels that you are desperate, you become incredibly unappealing to him.

Remember that men are happiest when they want a woman who they have to chase. If you do not chase him, he’ll just might eventually come chasing after you!

If you want to learn how to get you man back, check out my review of the Magic of Making Up here. I has helped a lot of women learn the steps needed to get back with their ex.

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