How many times have you seen one of your friends break up from a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It is one of the most common after effects at the end of relationships and that is rebound dating.
The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There is something to be said for getting “back in the saddle”. However, choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.
Band-Aid Relationships and the Rebound Dating Mindset
The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you will regret is to take an honest look at what you are feeling.
You should understand how those feelings can lead you places you would rather not go.
A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule.
To distract us from the fact that our heart has just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.
Maintain Your Standards
The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who is all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you are thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you would normally want, stay away. These people do not make for good relationships, rebound dating or otherwise.
Beware of the Handiest Person
When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We feel we don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we will really could click with. In fact we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with.
It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you have never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what is really going on here.
Take Time for Yourself
Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.”
There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you have always wanted to do but never had time for.
Whatever you do, do not sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.
Be Gentle with Yourself
Even if you are not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.
Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you are lucky, you will have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you have taken a little time off by yourself. You also don’t want to be lowering your standards. While we can’t prevent broken relationships: rebound dating gone wrong is easy to avoid.