It’s disheartening to look at the sad statistics these days when it comes to the divorce rate compared with the number of actual successful marriages. So many men and women jump into marriage only to lament later in those same marriages that there are so many things they wished they had known before they said I do.
This is true even of the people who married after living with their partner for a significant amount of time. It seems that even knowing your partner as much as you can from living with them still isn’t enough.
Here are some of the things people wish they had known before walking down the aisle:
What being married is really like: This is especially true of women who buy into the hype perpetuated by the media that marriage is a fairy tale with a happy ending. This can even happen to intelligent and highly intelligent women. Too late, they realize that they’ve entered into something far more serious than a fairy tale.
Being more acquainted with themselves: Too many people get married before they really understand who they are. That’s not helpful when they suddenly have to take on the added task of understanding another person that’s a big part of their lives.
Taking a little more time before getting married: This may be true for mostly women, although men too have felt pressured into getting married before they were completely ready. They may find after the fact that they are not even in love with the person they married.
Know their future in laws a bit better: Some people are blindsided by how much their husbands and wives are influenced by his own parents’ view of marriage and what it should be like. That’s not always a good situation for a marriage.
Bad behavior can only get worse: This is common among the women that always made excuses for the bad behavior of their future husbands prior to marrying them. Surprisingly, they couldn’t believe that they were unable to change this behavior once they got married.
Need to know more about money: Many people are astounded that they are not so capable at handling money when it’s forced on them. Women in particularly often realize that have made themselves dependent by not taking an active part in handling the finances jointly. Women should always know what’s going on with finances in their marriage.
What it takes to make a marriage succeed: There’s no real answer to this one. In fact, what works for one family may not work for another one. This is something that all couples must puzzle out for themselves. It’s more a matter of trial and error. If one thing doesn’t work, then something else can be tried. The most important aspect here is being able to talk about it.
Granted, knowing the answers to all of the above won’t guarantee a successful and happy marriage. However, it’s very possible that being more familiar with them will give you an edge that others don’t have.
The biggest rule when it comes to having a good marriage is to never ignore any doubts that you may have. If you don’t feel one hundred percent that you’re ready to get married, then don’t, and don’t let anyone else talk you into it before you’re ready.